Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I Hate Myself...

That was the first words that came from a friend of mine in her Blackberry Messenger to me this morning. I was like, how come? We are talking about a girl who has almost everything every woman wants in her life. I know many women would do anything to be in her shoes just for one day and for her to hate herself, I know for sure, must be something big. So yeah, of course, as a friend I called her and here is her story.
As a girl who has a lovely and trustfully boyfriend, she was counted as one of luckiest girls in the world, while many girls still can not even find any date whatsoever. After being together for quite sometime with her man, for some reasons, she felt bored with her life, her love life that is. So, last year when she went out for a dinner with some friends, she met a guy, a hot guy as her friends said, in a hip restaurant in town. At first, she thought that he was in to her girlfriend who is pretty much single and looking. But turned out, he was after her and all about her. She tried to avoided him at first, as she never consider herself as a single girl, but this guy was one of a kind of guy who was never gave up, so irresistible. Then yeah, at the end, she decided to gave him a chance and maybe this guy can help her get rid of her so called flat life.
After seeing each other for a while, at the third date, she suddenly felt something for this guy. A strange feeling inside her telling her that she liked him and wanted to be with him. From that moment, she knew that she was passionate him big time. But after a while, when the guy started to pressured her with so many questions about her man, then she decided to step out and leave him. But the feeling inside them was too deep for them to denied, so yeah, even now when the guy already found someone else to occupied him, she was still has a special place in his heart and vice versa. She thought, for this moment, her life was all about him.
Until last month, when she went for a short holiday with her childhood friends and met this cute young guy in a club and ended up had some fun with him. As he was only a young guy who was not even legal yet, she thought of nothing than having fun. Until the third time they met each other and this young guy started questioning her about her man just like the other guy. But this time was different. If the previous guy more like putting a pressured against her, this young guy was more like opened up her mind about something new. About how bad she was as a person. About how terrible she was as a girlfriend. About how selfish she was as a human being. And yeah, that is why now she hates herself for the things that she did in the past. For giving herself a chance to have fun while she wasn’t supposed to. For listening to her heart just like what her friends told her to. For considering no one else but her own self. She hates herself for everything she did that she never regret. She just hates herself for being herself.
^_^
To My Dear Friend, Thanks For The Inspiration…And Like I Said, This Is None Of Your Freakin’ Business So For Those Who Were Not In The Picture, Big Appreciation If You Just F*ck-Off!

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