Saturday, June 19, 2010

Too Tired For An Affair

"What do you want for dinner tonight?"
"I don't mind,"
"We're having liver,"
"I hate liver,"
"I thought you don't mind,"
"What do you want me to say?"
"Do you love me?"
"What a question!"
"Say it!"
"OK, I love you!"
"Don't say it like you were ordering food in a restaurant,"
"I love you,"
"I don't believe you,"
(A Marriage Made In Heaven : Or Just Too Tired For An Affair - Erma Bombeck)

Sounds familiar with this conversation? For tthose who were marriage, of course. I mean, come on, you have got to admit it that it was almost impossible to find a marriage made in heaven at this time being. When I said a marriage made in heaven, I mean literally, a happy and harmonious marriage or partnership. The thing is, human is a very selfish and individual creature himself. So yeah, it took a huge heart for a human to understand others, mostly they don't. Or, if they do, normally that was a result of some kind of deal or an agreement. Or, they must be half an angel or saint.
The problem was almost the same, seemed like everyone married the same men. Seriously, how many times you heard your girlfriends complaining about their partners which linked you to your own relationship? Exactly! From a woman point of view, sometime I put myself to that lame thought that all of the differences between man and woman would be disappear as soon as the Priest said, "Now I pronounce you husband and wife," But I was dead wrong. If we were come to our common sense, that was the time actually, when the problem started. I mean, many of us blinded with the status as a husband and a wife, hence our confusing whether trying so hard as a great spouse to our partner or just becoming ourself. Many of us change as soon as they got marriage, for a better or a worst reason, it doesn't really matters. The thing is, we tend to became someone else according to what our spouses wanted and we call it a sacrifice that we made to have a marriage made in heaven. But that was wrong.
My point is, in order for marriages to be made in Heaven there has to be a Heaven. Some people don't believe there is. So, if there's no Heaven that pretty much answers the question. If, on the other hand, there is Heaven (God): It's possible that when there's genuine love at the time of a marriage that marriage was "made in Heaven", but if love dies then maybe we can assume Heaven didn't plan to have that love last forever. It's possible that everyone in our lives are supposed to be there at the time they are and that Heaven has plans for people that don't always include remaining married. People learn a tremendous amount about life, themselves, marriage, and love when a marriage fails. Many failed marriages result in children. Marriages could be made in Heaven, but maybe they're not made to last for a reason.
I, personally, suppose I believe that each life and each soul has its individual journey and that there isn't a one-size-fits-all rule that Heaven imposes on everyone. If there's a plan that even a marriage that's made in Heaven is to dissolve then that's what happens. Another possibility is that people marry the wrong person, which amounts to going against Heaven's plans for what it takes for a good marriage. As a result, the people suffer the consequences of divorce. If this is the case, you can't blame the people most of the time because most of the time they marry the wrong person out of not knowing any better.
But, on the other hand, is there a chance that all marriages - wonderful, ok-enough or rotten and destructive - are made in Heaven and are supposed to last forever? In all objectivity, I suppose there is that chance. I suppose the punishment for divorce could be all that awful things that can happen as a result of it. I suppose, too, maybe divorced people even get sent to Hell. I don't happen to believe that, but in all objectivity, I have to acknowledge that it's also a possibility. Maybe Heaven decides that some people shall be deprived of love, peace, and happiness for their whole life - for no reason that anyone understands. Maybe Heaven doesn't want people trying to find those things in their life. Maybe Heaven wants children coming from empty, cold, destructive, home environments for some reason. Or maybe there was a marriage made in heaven. Or maybe it was just people who were involve in those kind of marriages were too tired for affairs. Or maybe it was just me with my weird way of thinking. As I might not believe in marriage made in heaven, but I do believe that an arrangement could make a marriage feels like heaven.
^_^

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