A Wounded Wife

Remember when I wrote about my friends, a couple who’s been together for more than ten years, and now have to get divorce over a love affair that been done by the wife? Yeah, they are now split up technically but not yet in legal matters. Last week, the husband told me that his ’soon to be’ ex-wife, tried to convinced him that she was sorry and pleaded him not to divorce her as she said that she still love him. She even cried to make it believable. So, of course, he thought (over his naivety) that she is a wounded wife, but, it didn’t change his decision. He is divorcing her.
Last weekend, the guy called, asked me if it’s okay for him to come by because he needed to talk about something. But, unfortunately, I had this fashion show thing going on that night so that I couldn’t have him. Knowing that, sarcastically, he was like, “Oh, that’s fine, I can come over some other time. By the way, if you see my wife tonight in the club, tell her I say ‘Hi’. Am sure she’s out and about already now, while she supposed to be a wounded wife.” I was just laughed. I mean, how was I supposed to reacted to that? The last thing I wanted to do was spilling gasoline to a small fire. Besides, I was in a hurry to go that time, so I was kind of ignored his comment.
But now, after thinking for a while, I realized that he is not being fair here. Here is the thing, different people have different way on how to deal with stuff like this. For example, when I have problems, any kind of problem that drives me to sadness, I locked myself in my room and write. While in the other hand, a dear friend of mine, tend to go out and partying. Does that mean that she is not feeling down with her problems? No, I don’t think so. Does that mean that she’s not a good girl? Just because she went out partying whenever she feels sad? I don’t think so. I mean, what does ‘wounded wife’ supposed to do anyway? Crying over pitying herself? Who has a right to determine what ‘good’ wounded wife does at this time of period? The husband? The social circuit? People who go to church? Or the church itself? I don’t even know.
My point is, in this circumstance, I don’t think there is any exact definition on what ‘wounded wife’ should do or should not do. The thing is, just because you did something awful that driven your marriage to crumbled, doesn’t mean that you were not wounded of that. And just because of you didn’t show the sign of what wounded wife ‘supposed’ to do, doesn’t mean that you were the evil in the relationship. Some people, including me, just never show their feeling. When I said these whole things to my partner, he was like shocked. He thought that I lost the plot by taking her side while she was supposed to be the evil one. But, according to my opinion, just because I understand her, doesn’t mean that am taking her side. For me, am neither on any side in this situation. I mean, I understand why the husband was cynical at this point. Because he was hurting. And maybe he was a sour loser, but it doesn’t make him bad nor good man. It was only the way he deals with his issues. And likewise for the wife. I can understand why she went out partying, if she did, maybe because she is not the type of girl who locked herself in the room whenever she down, unlike myself. And it doesn’t determine who she is. It doesn’t determine whether she was indeed a wounded wife or not.
So yeah, for me, there is no good people nor bad people if it define by the way they deal with issues. No one can judge you just by the way you solve your problems, specially not them who weren’t even inside those things. You have your prerogative rights to make your own decisions regarding your personal life and no one can say that it was a bad or a good one. Because at the end of the day, it was you and not them, who are going to run it.
^_^