You Are Not My Everything

The first time we met, I already knew that I had some kind of a feeling for you. But my common sense said that I had to pulled myself back as I did know that there wasn’t any future for us. As a matter of fact, there was no us. But as a man, you were convinced me that we should give it a try, so yeah, you won and I followed you even though during our journey together we had so many signs said that we were not meant for each other, but hey, they said love is blind and that was what happened, I supposed. I was in the middle of a bored term of my life. I don’t know why, maybe because of I have got so many things in life made me felt like my life was so flat, no challenged what so ever. Then I met you, a different kind of guy, so pushy, so manly, so arrogant, knew what you wanted in life, so full of confrontation, exactly what I was looking for in a guy. So yeah, I fell for you big time. Even though in your moody period, I still fell for you. Because for the first time, I was faced a guy who can control me and refused to spoiled me like other guys in my short list of boyfriends. Yeah, for the first time I listened to a man. For the first time, I compromised. For the first time, I negotiated my thought with yours. For the first time, I recognized us as a phrase, not like normally I only knew me, myself, and I. You changed me for better and I was grateful for that, I still do. But the thing is, you are not my everything. You are not the place where I stop stepping. It was so wrong what I did to you, but I can’t avoid the truth. You are just not the one and I was just not that in to you. I was fell for you, that’s the truth, but you are not my everything. So when it’s time for me to choose, I will choose him over you. I will stop my steps when I am with him. I will stop looking when I am right next to him. I will close my eyes when I sleep next to him. I will tight myself to his handcuffs. Because they said even an angel doesn’t have to has wings, doesn’t have to surrounded by a bright shiny spark, doesn’t have to looks beautiful, but if I compare his love over yours, even an angel knows who’s going to win. I wish I could say something different to you but I just couldn’t. I have to live in reality over a fantasy and yeah, you are a fantasy. My dreams, my sweet-sweet dreams. So if now that you are angry and hate me because of that, there is nothing I could do. But one thing for sure, I never think of you as a mistake. Because you are not. You are the truth, the painful truth that hit me badly. The next step for my grown up test and I think I passed it, don’t you?
“To My Holiday In Goa”
^_^