I can’t believe I said this out loud, but I am an OCD person. For some people who don’t know what OCD means, then I will explain it to you all. OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Yup, it is a disorder like an abnormality. When you got this abnormality then you would be obsessed with something. Different people has different symptoms.
As for me, I am obsessed with putting everything in symmetrical way. All the rugs in my house have to be symmetrical, as for the furniture and everything else. And this is not something that I can control. One day I came home and saw an empty gallon of water, I knew that someone must have changed the water gallon since the old one was finished. For normal people, the story was ended right there. But not for me. I couldn't’t stop thinking about how did they put the new gallon on. Did they put the label faced forward or backward. Back in my mind I knew that was not supposed to matter at all. But for me, it was. There was a tiny voice inside me kept on asking me to checked it. And it won’t stop until I done it.
Another symptoms I got is an over worried of germs. I always feel that everything out there is dirty and full of germs. I wash my hand all the time after I touch something, and we are talking about more than twenty times a day. I can’t bear touching a public toilet’s door handle. I always have tissue or napkin to cover my palm. I always clean the toilet seats before I use them, I clean them with hygienic liquid, and still, I use tissues to cover the seats before I sat on them. I never touch the flush handle without cover my palm with tissue. Is that sounds weird to you? Wait until you hear this. I can’t wear any blue outfit if I am not wearing blue underneath and I can’t go to bed until I check all the doors in my house. All the keys have to be on the table where I used to put them, otherwise I won’t be able to sleep. You can call me a weirdo, but that is really something that I can not control.
Telling this does not mean that I am complaining about myself. Not at all. I knew this disorder can be cure with psychiatrist helps, but I don’t think it is necessary for me. I am happy for who I am and to be honest, I got used to this disorder. None of those symptoms gave me any trouble after all. And if I got cured, I probably won’t feel like myself anymore. So, why bother?
^_^
As for me, I am obsessed with putting everything in symmetrical way. All the rugs in my house have to be symmetrical, as for the furniture and everything else. And this is not something that I can control. One day I came home and saw an empty gallon of water, I knew that someone must have changed the water gallon since the old one was finished. For normal people, the story was ended right there. But not for me. I couldn't’t stop thinking about how did they put the new gallon on. Did they put the label faced forward or backward. Back in my mind I knew that was not supposed to matter at all. But for me, it was. There was a tiny voice inside me kept on asking me to checked it. And it won’t stop until I done it.
Another symptoms I got is an over worried of germs. I always feel that everything out there is dirty and full of germs. I wash my hand all the time after I touch something, and we are talking about more than twenty times a day. I can’t bear touching a public toilet’s door handle. I always have tissue or napkin to cover my palm. I always clean the toilet seats before I use them, I clean them with hygienic liquid, and still, I use tissues to cover the seats before I sat on them. I never touch the flush handle without cover my palm with tissue. Is that sounds weird to you? Wait until you hear this. I can’t wear any blue outfit if I am not wearing blue underneath and I can’t go to bed until I check all the doors in my house. All the keys have to be on the table where I used to put them, otherwise I won’t be able to sleep. You can call me a weirdo, but that is really something that I can not control.
Telling this does not mean that I am complaining about myself. Not at all. I knew this disorder can be cure with psychiatrist helps, but I don’t think it is necessary for me. I am happy for who I am and to be honest, I got used to this disorder. None of those symptoms gave me any trouble after all. And if I got cured, I probably won’t feel like myself anymore. So, why bother?
^_^
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