Because You Loved Me

If someone ask me who (according to me) is the strongest person in the world, my answer would be a woman in general and a mother in particular. Here is the thing, I woke up this morning didn’t realize that today is a mother’s day until I watched (OMG, please don’t laugh at me) Oprah’s show. As you guys expected, yeah, the show was discussed everything motherly. First, there was this Jenny McCarthy girl who supposed to be someone famous but I don’t really recall until at the end there comes Jim Carey who introduced by Oprah as her boyfriend, then I got it. She wrote this book called ‘Mother Warriors’ that mostly talked about her fights to healed her son from Autism. A breakthrough story, but it doesn’t really impressed me much as she was a famous figure with a help from an A-list actor so whatever she’s done was too good to be in a real life.
Then came this everyday woman name Monica who last year, together with her fiancé Tony, were having a baby girl. During her difficult pregnancy, her doctor warned her about some virus that attacked her body. This was a kind of virus that eats human fleshes and organ, a very dangerous one. But, despite on anything, she continued her pregnancy and told her fiancé to safe the baby instead of her, in case if there is any problem in delivery room. Okay, let’s make it short, she had a baby girl but after delivered the baby she has got to deal with the virus that attacked her. So, the doctor told her that he has to remove almost half of her stomach organs. To make it even worse, she has got to have her two arms and legs amputated. I was like, what the heck? What a woman supposed to do without those things, what a person supposed to do? Surprisingly, with that big heart that she got, she was like, “Ok, do it. Do whatever you need to do to bring me home to my girls.” What a woman! She didn’t even allow herself to have those ‘why me’ moments like normal people would have. All that she had in mind was how to get home to her family and be able to take care her two little girls back again. After two months in hospital and faced thirty seven surgeries, she finally home with her now husband and kids. Yeah, during the recovery and therapy period in the hospital, they got married. Tony, the fiancé, said that he had no doubt nor a second thought about their marriage at all even though she wasn’t exactly the same woman who he purposed to, but inside she still the same person. Oh, so sweet. And maybe it was hard for anyone to believe, but there was not tears whatsoever during their wedding ceremony in her hospital room. That was a kind of love that you will not find easily nowadays.
The story above really inspired me on how strong women could be. Here is the thing, am not a feminist as I was always depends on guy in everything, but I have to admit that women in general, mothers to be exact, are special in many ways. They can be in two places at one time. Women can still do their works at the office while fixing the dinner for tonight. For women, they don’t have to be a mother to have those motherly touch, it was just something that came naturally. I mean, a wife in general, whether in purpose or not, tend to be a mother in a different meaning for a husband. A wife is the one who in charge on housework whether she was a housewife or a business woman. Of course, with all of those privileges that we have got nowadays, a maid is another option to simplify things, but still, women are the decision maker in the house, while men were only care of the final results. I mean, I often heard men were upset because of the partners asked them to stop by at the laundry to pick up, let say, the quilt. They were like, “Do you have any idea what I’ve been dealing with at work all day? And you still want me to stop on the way home for something so lame like that? Why don’t you pick it up yourself?” That was so manly thing. Men don’t know that if women want to tell them the list of what they’ve been dealing with all day long, then the list would be insanely long. Seriously, I still remember when I was a kid, my mom was a working mother who was also busy with her organizations everywhere. I barely see her at home, but, my sister, my brother and I were never been neglected as a child. Somehow, with a full help from maids of course, she managed to put food on the dining table on time and we, her children, growth as happy kids and never even feel like she was never been there for us. I realized how difficult that was now, how hard a job as a woman was. The different between man and woman was shown from the way they deal with daily routine. Woman, for some reasons, can simplify things in life. I knew many women who have a very good career and still maintain to look after their husbands and kids, still maintain to hang out with friends, still maintain to have their time to take care of themselves so that they were always happy. I mean, come on guys, how many times did you hear guys complain about their works? Almost every day. While in the other hand, unless if there is something so bad happened, women tend to keep things for themselves. For some reasons, women are more sensible than men. Hence, statistically, women can deal with stresses better than men.
However, women are also human therefore they made mistakes. This was still from the Oprah’s show thingy, there is a woman name Brenda something who accidentally killed her daughter Cecilia by leaving her in the car and completely forgot about it. By the time someone noticed that there was a three years old girl locked in the car, it was already way too late. In the interview with the police after the incident, Brenda was devastated. She kept on saying, “Am not a good mother, good mothers don’t do that, I want to die.” Now, my question is, what did good mother do anyway? I mean, if your husband is happy, your kids are happy, you put nice clothes on them, you fed them alright, does that makes you a good mother? Because from the image that I got, that was exactly what Brenda does. Only that one morning, when she forced to changed her routine by taking Cecilia to daycare on the way to work that was normally did by her husband who has a dentist appointment that day. Man, I tell you what, sh*t thing happens and it was an honest mistake that she didn’t realized that she got her baby with her as the baby was fallen asleep at the back seat. And besides, how many times does your brain do that auto pilot thingy by telling the other part of you to do something that you were always do in your normal day? Sometime you don’t even acknowledge thing until it’s done, then you were like, “What did I do in my office? I supposed to have a day off today.” I bet it sounds familiar. So yeah, easy for us to say “How could she forgot about her daughter?” But when you were in the same position with Brenda, who has to work every day while she was also a mother and a wife, then you will understand what am I talking about. Am not a real mother yet, but I feel her, I really do.
So, if you ask my opinion about what is the toughest job in the world, then my answer would be being a woman and a mother. That was a full time job that doesn’t tolerate problems. Being a mother, you have got to be there, happy and smiling, just for the sake of your children. Being a woman, you have got to look good, happy, and entertaining, for the sake of your man. Many times we see our social circuit tolerate craps when they done by men just because they are men while if they done by women, then they will like, “How could she do that? She’s a mother for God sake!” But no, am not complaining the society here, because believe it or not, I feel flattered as a woman. Why? Because that means that the society, somehow, admit that women are stronger than men, hence they expect something more from women, something better. Gosh, am so happy that I was born woman! Despite on any boundaries, being a woman is best thing that could happened to someone. And maybe this one is going to hurt men’s ego, but yeah, women are more powerful than them. I mean, can you imagine if men have to deal with their PMS and period every month, the pregnancy, the kids, housework, office works and men at the same time? The world would be at war every day, hah! Then yeah, of course, I dedicate this blog of mine to every woman in the world generally and mothers in particular. Because their loves that make the world like the way it is at the moment. Because of women and mothers. At the end, even though it was kind of surprising for me as it is for you, but I have to admitted that I agree with Jenny McCarthy when she recently wrote a book ‘Mother Warriors’. Yeah, a mother would do everything for her children therefore a mother is a warrior. And when I said mother here, it doesn’t mean literally. You can be a mother for your own kids, for your nieces or nephews, for your adopted children, for your students if you were a teacher, for your childish partners, or even for your pets. Any kind of mothers that women can be, make them warriors. But yeah, you have got to be a mother first, then you will be a warrior automatically. It was just an instinct that women have, a natural feeling to protect and do whatever they think best for their children.
^_^

Bali, May 9th 2010
To every mother in the world, especially my mom…Happy Mother’s Day! Thanks for making me who I am and who am not…am everything I am because you loved me…