Searching God (Part 2)

Yesterday’s earthquake struck along the same fault line as the tremor that caused the tsunami five years ago that claimed the lives of 232,000 on Sumatra, across South-East Asia and as far away as the East African coast. The island, ravaged by the Boxing Day tsunami of 2004 and a long-running civil war in the province of Aceh, had only just begun to recover. A powerful earthquake that struck western Indonesia yesterday triggered landslides and trapped thousands of people under collapsed buildings -- including two hospitals, officials said. National Disaster Management Agency says the deaths were counted in the coastal Sumatran city of Padang, following Wednesday's 7.6 magnitude quake. At least 200 bodies were found in one coastal city and the toll was expected to be far higher.
Some people who put religious thing on a strongest position would think of this disaster as a punishment from God of what we did wrong in the past. Well, I never see it that way. Okay, you can say that am not a religious type of person, but I do believe in one thing and that thing is my God doesn’t do revenge. I believe that if God wanted us to leave in a peaceful harmony, then why would He does such thing? Doesn’t make any sense to me. Have you ever think of this might be has something to do with our mistake to the nature? Our failure of keep the balance in our daily basis? How did we destroy our rain forests so that they can not hold any more water for us and how did we take all of those sands to build all of those sky reaches buildings?
The thing is guys, I think that we need to start using our common sense instead of those mambo jumbo things. Everything that we could answer logically. Oh no, am not asking you to stop all of those prays that you did on your daily routine, for sure we need them at some points. But, instead of doing those prays all day long, why don’t we start to fix the damage that we caused to our nature, and let see what happen next? Gosh, now I can understand why all of those Hollywood superstars seeking answers in that Scientologist belief, because they were tired of seeking answer from the holly bible just to find out that when you believe in God, you don’t doubting His words. Well, guess what…I do believe in God but my head also demanding some common sense answers for all of my questions.
When the first time I wrote about “Searching God”, a dear friend who doesn’t believe in God, suggested me to visit a website about how God was actually just a doctrine from churches and priests to their followers. Wow, kind of scary, huh? Seriously, I was signed out from that website half way through because of am afraid of what the damage that might get in to my soul if I continued watching. To be honest with you, I don’t want to change my belief as am very comfortable with it. Saying that though, it would probably different if my parents didn’t give a strong religious based since I was a kid. But yeah, they did, so here I am.
Back to my point, I just want to tell you guys, at this stage we are not in the position to judge others or even ourselves by saying that what happened yesterday was a punishment from God. I don’t believe that God is that shallow, He’s way beyond that. Unlike us, He’s not an anger type of guy. Beside, He doesn’t need to show off his almighty power just to warn us, He loves us. We’re his creature, aren’t we? So yeah, don’t get me wrong guys, am not against any religious thing here. But, even in my belief, they were always said that, “Do something first, then pray so God will help you with the result of what you were doing.” Did you read that properly? Do something first. And yeah, a dear friend said to me once that everything happened, happens for a reason and I think that he was absolutely correct. But, the thing is, the reason was not always religious.
^_^

To all of my dear friends and relatives who got hit bad time by yesterday's quake, don't worry guys..God loves you all!

Tiupan jiwa

Foto saat saya masih di Radio SS (pak Errol ; pegang kertas)

Kemarin saya kembali menemukan pencerahan hidup :)
Dan tak henti-hentinya hati ini mengucapkan syukur alhamdullillah, benar-benar banyak petunjuk yang selalu diberikan-Nya

Dalam berbagai macam kendala yang saya hadapi, situasi hidup yang tidak menentu, kegundahan dan kegelisahan saya ...Beberapa "orang" muncul menemui saya, dimana mereka memberikan "pencerahan" pada saya. Seolah-olah mereka mampu menatap apa yang sebenarnya terjadi dalam sorot mata saya...

Seperti siang kemarin, saat saya berkunjung ke kantor "lama" saya, dimana saya hampir tidak bertemu dengannya dalam satu tahun terakhir ini. Bapak Errol Jonathans, beliau Direktur di media tempat saya dulu menimba ilmu (saya yakin orang-orang banyak yang tahu beliau). Saya berkunjung dalam rangka silaturahmi dengan rekan-rekan lama, mereka-mereka yang pernah menjadi bagian dalam hidup saya. Dimana kala itu mungkin boleh dibilang, buanyak susahnya..tapi saya tidak pernah mengeluh menyesali keadaan.

Kami berbincang, saling menanyakan keadaan. Dan betapa senangnya, beliau masih sangat ingat dengan kondisi keadaan saya saat dulu masih bekerja di tempatnya. Salut karena dia masih mengingatnya..Hingga tiba dalam satu perbincangan....

" Intinya adalah Fokus, Mencintainya, dan Kesempatan"

Maksudnya fokus, Beliau menasehati saya dalam berkarir seperti saat ini harus benar-benar fokus dan loyal. Jangan sampai hanya karena iming-iming sedikit saja, langsung tergiur. Beliau meng-istilahkan-nya seperti mencangkul di sawah. Saat ini, saya sedang mencangkul, menanam bibit, dan masih harus sering - sering menyiraminya, hingga sabar menunggu buahnya dipanen. Sama seperti pekerjaan yang saya miliki, Beliau berharap saya bisa tetep be patient, tidak hanya terkecoh dengan tawaran-tawaran pihak lain yang kadang malah menjerumuskan kita..
Dan saya mengakuinya, kebanyakan sifat dari kita generasi muda adalah tidak sabaran, ingin cepat beres dan menikmati hasilnya..Tapi beliau tertawa, dan mengaku tidak setuju memasukkan saya dalam kategori "muda" dengan alasan karena saya sudah beranak istri :)

Mencintai maksudnya, dalam melakukan pekerjaan kita harus benar-benar mencintai pekerjaan itu. kalau pondasinya sudah cinta, maka tidak akan roboh dihantam badai apapun..Namanya juga orang cinta, diapa-apakan juga tetap cinta. Beliau mengumpamakan, seperti pernikahan yang harus terus disirami setiap saat, tidak hanya diucapkan janji saat di akad nikah saja. Tapi pernikahan bisa bertahan lama karena faktor pupuk dan harus terus menerus memeliharanya dengan baik. Nah, dengan apa? dengan cinta.

Pelajaran bab terakhir kita adalah Kesempatan :) hehe Beliau mengatakan (bagus nih) "Kesempatan datang disaat yang tak diduga, entah kita telah siap atau bahkan saat kita sangat tidak siap.
Jadi, dalam mencapai jenjang karir yang lebih tinggi, harus benar-benar "prepare" karena hal itu lebih baik dibandingkan kalau kita tidak punya kesiapan suatu apa.. Bahkan kesempatan memang tidak mengenal situasi. Saat kondisi kita masih lemah, belum ready, belum mampu dsb, dsb, kesempatan itu tiba-tiba bisa muncul. Dan pastinya .."Wusssshhh..." kesempatan itu terbang begitu saja.

Pertemuan disela-sela kesibukan beliau yang sangat singkat ini benar-benar kembali menerangkan hati dan jiwa saya. Apalagi Beliau juga yakin, saya "mampu" dan pasti "bisa" menghadapi segala yang ada. Beliau juga masih sangat ramah dan welcome, menerima kehadiran saya. Bahkan dia berharap sayabisa membawa nama almamater emakin harum di "luar" sana. Meskipun tidak harus menjadi orang media, tapi dimanapun spirit menjaga nama baik almamater tersebut haruslah tetap ada. Saya pribadi juga mengucapkan banyak rasa terimakasih karena dulu juga sempat dibimbing oleh beliau.

"Saya sudah yakin sejak Kamu dulu datang kesini, kamu orang yang capable. Berhubung sekarang sudah menemukan sawah yang cocok, jadi sabar dan tunggulah panennya"

That's it.. the most important point for bright future.
The key are Focus, Love, and Opportunity.

Only Dumb Blondes Say “That’s Hot”?

Did you ever watched any of those Newlyweds program on MTV a few years ago? It’s a reality show of Jessica Simpson and her then husband, Nick Lachey, about their daily routine. So yeah, they let the MTV crew taped their life 24/7. Many people who tuned in to their telly watching the show would probably thought about how stupid Jessica was. Well, I think, even before she opened her mouth the image of dumb blonde was already there. You know, if you see a pretty girl with blonde hair and giggle over everything, then of course, you would think of her as a joke more than anything else. Yeah, she is a redneck alright, but let me tell you something here, she was far from being stupid. And to be honest with you, I think she was indeed a very smart girl and was playing around with everyone here.
I remember in one of the show, when they were in one of those typical American Fast Food Chains, and her boys band husband asked her if she would like to have a buffalo wings, then she was like, “I don’t eat buffalo.” Everyone was like, laughed their head off, couldn’t believe what they just heard. But seriously guys, I was like, very, I mean VERY, sure that she was playing around at that time, you know, just to make the show more interesting. Oh yeah, she knew what buffalo wings is for sure. Hey, she a Texan, remember? And it worked! That episode became a phenomenon in the whole country and made more people tuned in to the show. What a smart girl! And don’t forget when she became a spoke person to one of those tin tuna company, then someone asked her what she likes about those tunas, and she was like, ”I think tuna is the best fish meat, it was like chicken of the ocean,” Once again, people were laughed at her and thought that it was the stupidest sentence they ever heard. Well, let me tell you something here people, it certainly was not the smartest thing to say, but I can understand completely what she meant at that time. It means that she thought that chicken is the best meat on ground and tuna is the same thing, only it comes from the sea, so it makes tuna is the chicken of the ocean. So, who’s the stupid one here then? Duh!
So yeah, maybe you think that she is a dumb blonde, but I don’t think so. She was just simply playing around with everyone and what is the benefit for her? Yup, exactly…a multi million dollars brand images for her cosmetics and shoe line. See, I told you how she fool you all, didn’t I? It’s all about the money, guys. I would do the same for the exact same compensation, yeah, I would play dumb if someone willing to pay me to. Hah!
Then came along Paris Hilton, a different kind of ‘dumb blonde’ icon. She was so famous with the words “That’s Hot!” that she always said during her ‘Simple Life’ show on telly. Yup, you guessed it right if you think that it was another reality show, only this one was a little bit different because she did it with her sidekick Nicole Ritchie (yup, you’re right again, she is indeed the daughter of Lionel). The show was about two spoil-rich girls who given up everything they got and had to live in a normal house with a normal family and tried to mingled with their communities. So yeah, no cell phones, no cash, no credit cards, nothing. And they had to worked for the money and actually this was what made the show so funny. These two were absolutely never had any real job, if you can say that, ever in their whole life. But am pretty sure that some of the stupidity that they did was fake or at least exaggerated, that was totally an act, you guys! And I also don’t understand why are people make fun and laughed at the way they speak, you know, with all of those secret phrase that they used? I don’t see anything wrong with that, because you sure do have some secret language when you talk with your best friend, don’t you? Don't you guys get it? It’s a girls thing! And should I mention about how she get paid at least half a million dollars just to appears to any party in the world? So yeah, for those who were skeptical about this dumb blonde thing, well...guess what, am not blonde, and am certainly far from being dumb, but yeah…that’s hot!

^_^

Run Away

"Kapan bisa benar-benar berlari ?" pertanyaan yang saya gak terlalu susah menjawabnya.

Pertama, kalau memang dalam kondisi terdesak dimana kita harus segera berlari
Kedua, kalau memang muncul keinginan mengejar sesuatu hingga harus berlari
Atau bahkan Kamu punya banyak jawaban lainnya yang tidak sama dengan saya. Boleh !
Dengan alasan-alasan yang bermunculan itu, so pasti kita akan berlari...

Tapi pernahkah Kamu tahu, saat semuanya baik-baik saja..tidak ada masalah..tidak ada alasan yang benar-benar memaksamu untuk berlari, tapi Kamu malah menggerakkan kaki & segera bersiap untuk berlari ?

Hmm.. I mean...
It's too common, kalau kita kepepet kita bisa atau mampu mengatasinya.
Nah, sekarang kita balik posisinya.

Disaat Kita menikmati "comfort zone" apakah kita mau dan sanggup untuk berlari ??
Apakah kita tidak takut, ternyata tujuan lari itu tidak lebih baik daripada comfort zone yang ada ??

Saya pribadi, sempat terombang-ambing dalam ketidakpastian...terlena dengan kenyamanan itu..dan mencoba terus untuk berlari...karena saya tahu ada secercah tali "finish" yang saya nanti di ujung sana.

Saya tidak akan bisa menujunya hanya dengan "jalan kaki"
Ya..benar, saya butuh berlari.
Saya tahu tujuan saya itu, saya akan lompati pagar pembatas itu.
Tidak ada alasan bagi saya untuk terus menikmati sesuatu yang pasti-pasti saja.
Naluri dan adrenaline ini terlalu menggelora, hingga kian bergejolak..

Saya berlari, dan akan terus berlari...
Menuju sesuatu yang ada disana...bernamakan P.E.N.G.H.A.R.A.P.A.N

Her B'day

Weeeew....
Beribu-ribu tahun tidak menuliskan sesuatu (halah)..rasanya kagok juga yah :)
Memang facebook dan Twitter benar-benar menjerumuskan orang untuk tidak kreatif (baca: menulis lebih panjang dan menarik). Mumpung hari ini (malam ini tepatnya) lalat inspirasi sedang mampir...Nah sekalian deh..

Well, tidak terasa waktu memang benar-benar cepat sekali..Wussssshhhh
Apa itu karena Saya menikmatinya kah ? atau ?
Ahh..sudahlah tidak berdebat dengan waktu..karena dia selalu menang tanpa mempedulikan banyak langkah kesiapan yang dimiliki setiap orang..

Hari ini, atau malam nanti tepatnya tgl 29 September ..Bini saya tercinta ulang tahun..dimana kali ini terasa beda. Terasa beda bagi saya dan bini saya khususnya. Dimana kedewasaan semakin membayangi dan semakin sedikit waktu yang tersisa bagi kami untuk semakin menambah bekal...

Yup..
Bekal untuk anak saya yang semakin cantik, cerdas dan tumbuh dewasa..menghadapi kerasnya hidup nanti.
Bekal untuk Saya dan Bini saya...menuju "rumah terkahir" kami...dimana kami yakin masih sedikit yang bisa kami bawa, untuk memilih Surga-Nya

Saya merasa, kali ini istimewa..
Bini saya telah menjadi seorang wanita yang benar-benar istimewa
Belajar banyak hal dan meninggalkan ego-nya...
Memulai sesuatu yang baru dan mengenali semua kebutuhan gadis kecilnya
Memijak lebih kokoh disamping saya... dan merangkul saat say membutuhkannya...
Menjadi sosok Peri pelindung bagi mata hatinya... yang memanggilnya Mama dan kini berganti Mami :)

Happy B'day Mami...Sun sayang buat mu....
Dan tetaplah menjadi separuh sayapku...
Karena ku tak bisa terbang .. tanpamu

I Love You

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The Curious Case Of Jenson Button...And Briatore?

As you guys know that today is the ‘D’ day that everyone been waiting for, specially me, yeah…today is the race day of Singaporean Night Grand Prix. It’s the only night race in Formula One and since I missed the last year race over my busy schedule (yeah…right!) then of course, I won’t miss it again this year since it was only two and a half hours flight from Bali to Singapore. So yeah, despite on how expensive the accommodation during the race period is, but what the heck…I am so coming!
Formula One race is one of the biggest events in sports calendar since it was full of prestigious, glamour, and sophisticated people in the world of sports and life style. Most of the driver were always have pretty girls by their side, such as supermodels, singer, actress, or socialites. So don’t be surprise if you come to the events and accidentally bump in to someone familiar to your wall of fame. Yeah, it was more like having an award show in front of you, only with a little sporty touch in it. Not to mention all of those parties that arranged by almost every major clubs in town and all you have to do is just flash your F1 ticket then you can enter any of those party, yay! And since Singapore is a very tiny country, then of course, they don’t have any race track. So, just like Budapest and Monaco, we are talking about street track here and actually that is what makes it more interesting. Unlike Monaco and Budapest, where the tracks were pretty boring and having less overtaking points, this street track is more challenging as it is more bumpy and more dusty. Not to mention the heat and the humidity of the weather, so yeah…it’s going to be tough.
On the practice sessions, Hamilton made the best record together with Red Bull team who was using Ferrari technology for their engine. My favorite was always Button, well…at least since Montoya quit then doing those NASCAR things, then yeah…I have no choice, do I? So if you ask how I feel about yesterday qualifying, then the answer is…for sure, deeply, terribly, disappointed. Why? Because Button was not even made it to third session qualifying! Therefore, he has to start at twelve position on the race tonight. Duh! But yeah, seeing him during practice sessions, I was knew that he wasn’t that confidence about this race as he was one of the driver who constantly complained about the heat, the dusts, and the bumps on the road. But to be honest with you, I think that what makes any street track unique and challenging as it is actually a normal road. And despite on any complaints that made by the drivers, the authorities in Singapore actually already tried their best to fixed the conditions. And compared with last year, this year condition is way more acceptable and if you can say, of course, driver friendly. But of course, it was nothing like a real track and yeah, it still bumpy for sure. I can understand why Button had an issue about this and seeing his body language at the practice sessions these last couple of days, I can see how he felt so annoying and maybe threatening?
That’s it then, my interest on this year Grand Prix was ended last night together with Button’s failure. But I still have another interest on the race since it was the first race where Flavio Briatore won’t be at the pit of Renault team anymore. Yeah, for those who haven’t follow the Grand Prix lately, then let me tell you something. Everything was started by an accident caused by Renault young and promising driver Nelson Piquet, Jr at the Singapore Grand Prix last year. And you got it right, if you guessed that he is indeed a son of the legend Nelson Piquet. Here is the thing, when he was just about finishing his contract with the team this year, he was trying to renew his deal with maybe a little bit raised and since he was ordered by the team to crashed last time so Alonso could win the race, then of course, he used that as a weapon. He was kind of threatening the team that he will speak up if they are not renew his contract with a better deal. This thing is not supposed to be a problem as anyone would do the trick anyway. But what makes this one different was when someone inside the team spilt the beans then the F1 authority found out then questioning Piquet. Yeah, at the end of the day, he had to tell the truth and faced the consequences, which was fired from Renault and everyone reckons that he won’t get any job in Formula One ever again. So much for his new deal, eh?
And as a consequences for the team, earlier this week Renault received a two-year suspended ban from the sport, as for Briatore, he was banned indefinitely from motor sport and Pat Symonds, 55, who was the team's engineering director, was banned for five years. Both men had already resigned from the team, on Sept,16. What a drama! So of course, we won’t see the charismatic old man with his long silver hair who was so intense with the race, managing Renault team ever again. And yeah, for me it was kind of weird seeing Renault without Briatore, as for me, he was the mascot of the team just like Schumacher for Ferrari. Then yeah, we will see how Renault technical director Bob Bell taking over Briatore’s position on the race tonight. It won’t be the same, though.

^_^

The Blonde Joke

This joke is probably an old one but someone just told me recently and I was like laughed my head off when I heard it as I thought that it was very funny. I know that you might probably heard it somewhere before, but yeah, it’s nothing wrong with retelling it once again. Hey, even a show always has rerun, right? So, here it is;
A guy who was pretty much wasted, came in to a bar and order drinks. After a few shot, he was like having a conversation with the bartender and it became pretty intense. The guy then like, “Hey, have you ever heard about the blonde joke?” Yeah, he was about ready to tell everyone in the bar about the joke, but the bartender was like, “Wait a minute before you say anything. Do you see the guy on the stole over there?” he was pointed a drunk guy who sat by his own and was like, “He was an awful one when he’s drunk, always fight with everyone, and he is blonde. And that big guy over there by the pool table? He just lost his twin brother on a car accident recently, and he is also blonde. What about that guy with tattoos all over his body? He was just came out of prison for killing someone, and he is indeed has blonde hair too. That old guy on the corner? He just lost his wife who had battle against cancer for a very long time, and she is a natural born blonde. And not to mention me, I am not just a bartender here but I also own this bar, and I am blonde inside out.” The bartender was tried to look cool by keep on pouring a drink to the guy, then he was like, ”So, do you still want to tell us your joke?”
The guy was like quite for a moment, thinking, then he was like, “Nah, not if I have to repeat it five times,” then he took off.
^_^

Sorry guys..I have nothing against blondes, as I said..this was strictly a joke!

I Must Be Doing Something Right

Last weekend, my friends and I went out for a dinner with one of our old mates who we haven’t seen for quite sometime as she has just getting married and having a baby, so of course, she was kind of having a different life style from she was used to when she was single. After the baby a little bit big, she called us out of sudden and asked us to go out for a girls night out like we were always do before. She was like bored with her daily routine with kid and house every day and needs to freshen up. As a good friend, of course, we said okay. Then yeah, so we went out for a dinner and a few drinks after, NO…not that drink! She was still breast feeding, remember? Duh!During the dinner, we were like catching up with everyone’s life as we haven’t seen each other for at least a couple of years. Then, I don’t even remember where was it came from, but my old mate told us that she was actually about very closed to called off the wedding as she found out from another friend who about to see her man kissing a girl in a club one night when she was like four or five months pregnant. We were like, what? Here is the thing, when she came to our workplace to delivered the wedding invitations last year, then introduced us to her future man at that time, we were like envy her for having such a wonderful guy. He looked so well manner, decent, good looking, young but loaded, and to be honest with you, too good for her. We thought that she was the lucky one in that relationship, but turned out we were absolutely wrong.

What happened above was kind of made us having a flashback about our own love life, well…at least for me and my friend. While everyone out there was like struggle to maintain their love ones to be faithful to them, here we are, having such a very trustworthy guys who provide us with all of those privileges that we can’t even name them one by one as it’s going to take a very long list, but still complaining about how boring our love life is. Such ungrateful girls, that what we are. And yeah, we do now realized how lucky we were as a person. How God must love us very much for letting us getaway with all of those attitudes that we gave to our men lately. Then my dear friend was like, do we deserve the love that our men give us? Considering how bored we were with them and with our life? OMG…are we that bad? But then, for some reasons, I was kind of remember the lyrics of one of those Boys Band song calls ‘Something Right’. Yeah, it doesn’t matter how bad we are as a girl, how deceitful we are as a lover, how boring we are as a human being, but if there is a guy somewhere out there willing to dedicate his love and his life only for us without any doubt, then of course, we must be doing something right. Don’t you think so?

I know I don't deserve the love you give me but now I understand, 'cause..

If you want me, I must be doing something right

I’ve got nothing left to prove, and it’s all because of you

So if you want me, and baby I make you feel alive

I know I must be doing…doing something right
(Something Right - Westlife)

^_^

Reality Bites

A guy that I’ve just knew recently asked me one time whether if I am a materialistic type of person or not. Seriously guys, how do you answer that question? It’s not a tough question at all, for sure. And I knew the answer back then at the time that he asked me, oh yeah I did. But as I just met him, and of course, wanted to make a good impression, I will not willingly admitted it to him that I am in fact a materialistic type of person. Hey, I am a normal girl at some points, you know? Hah!
So yeah, at that time I was tried to avoided the question by asking him how do you tell someone whether you are a materialistic person or not. And he was like, if you love things and it’s all about the money, and all of those things that you can buy with it, so that means that you are. I was like, wait a minute here…of course I love things and money, well...who doesn’t? Does that make me a materialistic?
This thing kind of remind me of my conversation with my dear friend who had to deal with the situation where the girl that he loves chose to be with other guy not because of she doesn’t love him, but more like because of what the other guy could provide her which he couldn’t. He was like, if she really loves me like what she always said, why can’t she just hold my hand and face everything up together with me? I was like, yeah right…welcome to the real world, brother! Guess his momma failed to tell him about how does the reality look lie and it's not perfect all the time. I am so sorry my friend, but we are talking about the fact here. I also remember when a friend of mine who has a hunk husband with a very good financial track record, once had been approached by a guy who is not so bad but way bellow her hubby in every aspect. One night when the guy showed up with a BMW Z4 that belongs to his boss, my friend was like, supposed this car is yours then of course I will be yours too. I knew that she said that as a joke at that time, but knowing her…yeah, it could be the truth though.
So guys, the right question is actually not whether you are a materialistic type of person or not but whether you do it for a right reason or not. Oh no, am not trying to justify myself here, because I don’t think that I need to. Many girls are with me, indeed. I mean, come on…if there are two guys approaching you at the same time, one is a hunk with no money and the other one is a not so bad looking guy but loaded, who are you going to pick? Exactly, you might adore the first guy but you are going to chose the second guy…for sure! The thing is, love can not put food on the table, love can not pay your tuition nor your bills, not to mention those extra spending that you do all the time. And yeah, surely our loves don’t cost a thing…but that doesn’t mean that we will always put love on the top of everything…get real! Well, maybe some of us who are plain naive will, but most of us won’t. So yeah, of course we love you, guys…but guess what? Reality does bite…big time. Ouch! So much for your living in love happily ever after thing!
^_^

À 'Anggi' un nouveau guy que j'ai rencontré récemment, grâce à l'inspiration..

Runaway (A Poem)

I tried to tell you that I’m not happy
I tried to tell you that I’m lonely
I tried to tell you that I’m hungry
The day before I runaway..

I told you that I’m leaving
I told you that I’m not joking
I told you that I’m seriously in pain
The day before I runaway..

I tried to warned you about this day
I tried to give you some times to realize
I tried to even show you some tears
The day before I runaway..

I called you when I’m in my low point
I screamed your name asking for some hands
I looked for you when I need a shoulder to cry on
The day before I runaway..

I tried to tell you that I’m not okay
I tried to tell you that I need you by my side
I tried to tell you that I want you to ease my sadness
The day before I runaway..

I told you that the day is coming
I told you that I will make my way out of this thing
I told you that will consider me above everything
The day before I runaway..
^_^

Really guys, before you say something..if you don't know what am talking about, then please..don't jump in to any conclusion just yet..?

Choco Jetons Beurre Cookie

Lorsque vos lèvres toucher mine
Et votre baiser souffle mon esprit
Il se sent comme ayant un choco jetons beurre cookie
Dans l'après midi avec une tasse de thé anglais
Hum...vraiment-vraiment miiiaam!
^_^

Bali, 12 Septembre, 2009

Ce n'est pour rien que ce soit, tout simplement la première chose qui est venu à mon esprit en me réveillant ce matin...

9/11

For most of people in the whole wide world, September 11th means something devastated as that date reminds us of a humongous tragedy that change almost every aspect of our life. That the date when America been attacked by some groups so called terrorists, whoever they are. But for me, that date simply just the date when I have to make a phone call to my mom as it is actually her birthday date. So yeah, while people in the States grieving by losing their love ones, my family having a celebration, isn’t it contradictory? That is why even if this blog’s title is 9/11, I am not going to talk about that tragedy here. I think we have enough people discussed about that already and I am not capable to talk about it. This blog is simply about a birthday wishes from a daughter to her mother. From me to my mom.
As I said before, my mom is the coolest mother in the world and I am not lie about this. Even on her elderly world she is still an active woman and I don’t think there is anything in the world slowing her down, that is why she is my hero. Yeah, she is my inspiration. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be the exact same woman with my mom because we are totally different individuals. I am a laid back person who never running out of time. In the other hand, my mom is a busy woman who always running out of time. I still remember when we were kids, we had three nannies, one for each. Oh no, not because of we were rich, because we didn’t, but mostly because of my mom was very busy so that she could not watched us every day.
When I was a teenager I never felt close with my mom, I guess because of we never spent time together. I still remember when I was four years old, I felt down of my bed and my nanny went to my mom’s office to told her. But because she was in the middle of a meeting, she sent my nanny back home and convinced her that I was okay. My nanny, who adored me too much, couldn’t take it. She kept on saying how my mom does not love me, how it would be a different case if it happened to my sister, and yeah, I over heard that then started to cry and never stop for a very long time that made me run out of energy and collapsed. Hey, come on…what else could a four years old girl do in this situation? I had to stay in a hospital for a week because of that and when I was in hospital, I never even want my mom by my side. At all. I only wanted my nanny. And of course, it was broke my mom’s heart so badly, I knew that for sure.
So maybe, subconsciously I still have this memory at the back of my head that makes me find it is so difficult to feel close with my mom. But as a daughter, I do proud of her and all of her achievement these whole times and I do want her to know that. I also want her to be proud of me too, even though based on her standard it is going to be a very difficult things to get. Since I am a kind of girl who never shows my feeling to anyone, it is hard for me just to tell her that now that am fully grown up, I do understand completely that at that time she was forced to made the decision that she’d probably regretted, and that now I am okay with that, and I don’t blame her for that, and that I love her, and much more things. So, here it is;
Dear mom,
Today is your birthday and I have nothing to give you as a present but my love and my pray. I want you to know that I love you and I adore you. You are my ultimate superhero and I am proud of you, proud to be your daughter. I wish I could tell you all of these face to face but I couldn’t as you know that I am not good in oral. I am a daughter who looks up to you as a mother, a wife, a teacher, a motivator, a mentor, a best friend, a shrink, a financial adviser, a cook, and God knows what else.
Dear mom,
Today is your birthday and I want you to know that you are always be in my pray, my breath, my foot step, my thoughts, my blood, my everything. You are my role model even if I don’t want to be you because I am who I am and you are who you are. As George Bernard Shaw said that “Life is not about finding yourself but it’s about creating yourself”, so I thank you for making me created who I am now but the most important thing is I thank you for all the things that am not. I’ve learnt so many from you and so that I love you. I wish I could love my children someday just like how you love us, unconditionally. Happy birthday from a distance and hope to see you in this holiday coming.
Love,
Your daughter
^_^

Grâce à mon cher 'Anggi' pour la citer..

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